Aren’t we all tired of the trolls on FB who just won’t get the message? Here’s a funny post I wrote on my facebook account recently. Feel free to share…
HACKER WANTED URGENTLY !!!!
JOB RESPONSIBILITIES :
But specifically, hacking into the FB accounts of people who-
1) TAG me to photos that have nothing to do with me.
2) ADD me to groups without asking.
3) SEND invites of events that they know I will never attend, but just to let me know that they are busy with something and their empty, inane, banal and ridiculous lives have some meaning.
After hacking into their accounts here’s what we will do my hacker friend..
1. Draw moustaches on all their profile photos. If they already have a moustache then we will photoshop and shave them off. Unless they are women with moustaches. Then we don’t do anything. Just leave them as they are.
2. Post updates on their walls like ‘Today I took a ginormous dump and my brains fell out. And since I have brown matter instead of grey cells in my head anyway, I couldn’t even tell the difference’.
3. Schedule more such posts in future so that they don’t what’s coming till it gets posted. And add gross pictures to go with posts. Promise on the posts that more graphic pictures and eventually videos are in the offing.
4. Photoshop the ‘su su ki’ baby pissing all over their cover photo.
6. Photoshop a blue tick mark with ‘Verified Attention Whore’ sign right next to their name.
5. Add a DISLIKE button (something FB should’ve done it already) on their profile and programme it with a counter that starts at million. (Means at the start only a million dislikes will be shown).
Don’t even ask!! This job is it’s own reward. But sometimes I’ll share my pint of beer. And yes, FREE HUGS for every douchebag’s hacked account.
If you’re not a hacker, DO SHARE this post on your wall so that one of your hacker friends sees it and contacts me. That itself will absolve you from eternal douchebaggery. And in future when we make ‘Verified Normal Person’ badges, we will put them on your profile.